Me, Made Complicated

So I had a wonderful weekend visiting my daughter in Ohio (well, except the whole soap incident described below). We played, we went to the park, and I kissed and hugged her all weekend long. She told me how much she misses me and woke me up telling me what a great day we would have together. I met her school friends and won a SoniCare in a raffle! I was able to help her mom out (who knew a Mech Engineering degree could come in handy!) and we ended up having a good conversation over a few beers. I made sure to tell my daughter just how special she was to me and how proud I am of her.

As always happens when I leave Maggie, I got home today and became very introspective. I started thinking about who I am, where I sit in life, and where I want to go…

It started with a creeping thought, a list I composed all day of what my current goals need to be. Or rather, what I want them to be. But to get there, I had to take stock of who I am right now. I started listing what I like and what I don’t like about myself.  And I realized that if someone wants to know who I am, these lists are it. This is how I see myself today. Then something amazing happened. I actually wrote my ABOUT page!! (Check it out if you care to)

So what were my final goals? Where do I want to go? I can’t answer that any better than I could when I was 18. Like everyone, at any moment in time I have a whole list of what I want to do with myself. But here’s the current list of projects I came up with:

1. Get into an exercise routine. I’ve joined a gym, that’s the first step. By the end of the summer I want to be in a routine, working out at least 3 times a week.
2. Stop the regular smoking. I’d be okay with smoking after having a beer, but I’m not ok smoking after waking up or eating a meal.
3. Get my photography into a show. This one is my New Year’s Resolution for 2009, and for once I am actually going to fulfill one of those damn things.
4. Reevaluate my living arrangements. This one is involved. I’m not just talking about my apartment… I’m talking city, state, everything. Start thinking about all that goes into making such changes and you’ll see how involved it is and how much thought I need to do. I love Portland, but with everyday that passes, it seems like there is less and less holding me here and more pulling me away. But is it a change I can afford to make?
5. Get my wisdom teeth out. I’ve put this off for 12 years, but the suckers need to go.
6. Oh, something about love, I’m not sure what yet. This may be an ambiquous goal, but all I know is that how I’m going about it obviously isn’t working so something has to change.
7. Spend $200 less a month. No idea how to do that when I already eat Raman noodles most nights, but in today’s economy (and with my debt) that’s luxurious.
8. Become proficient in ASP and .NET framework.
9. Take a vacation for and by myself. Even if it’s just one night camping alone in the Western Oregon desert.

I think the best thing we can do for ourselves is set goals that are continuously changing. Keep ourselves on our toes…

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